Every so often I talk about my fitness abilities or lack thereof. I ride the same roller coasters that we all do (at least I tell myself that we all do.) And always kick myself when I forget how closely tied the physical is to the emotional for me.
I’ve discovered I am a morning worker-outer. Remember when I told you about being a morning monster? Well, unfortunately, she only comes out to yell when I haven’t worked out. And knowing this makes it easier (some days) to get up and out of the house (and back) before anyone else stretches the sleepies away. It’s not ideal but it’s working. For the most part. For now! And honestly, when I’m rounding for home, I feel amazing. I feel like I can do anything that comes my way that day. Yes, of course I hit snooze and spend three minutes figuring out when else I could do this today and how soon do I get to back to sleep.… But that feeling of getting home and being done… makes me proud of myself.
Last week… I didn’t do any of them. Not a one. I gave in and I’ve been here before.
Last week I was at the I don’t want to do this anymore again. It usually starts with an overly enjoyed weekend that takes three days and at least two missed workouts to get over. Then the guilt cycle of missing workouts sets in and blah blah blah. I was honestly feeling guilty to report my (lack of) days to my adopt-a-pantry team. And oops, then it was the weekend again. The last time I reached the over-trained part of my self was once upon two babies ago. I ran three 1/2 marathons in less than a year. The last of the three was awful. I was so done with it. The training, the doing, all of it. I had literally run myself into a hole. So I just stopped. Not all in one day. But eventually the miles lagged, the motivation dragged, and then I heard “it’s twins!” And if that’s not enough to knock you off the coaster you are a stronger she than me.
I’m telling you all this because this time it’s going to be different. This time I’m going to be smart about what happens next. With a new month I set new goals, made a new plan, and used a sharpie to redo my training plan for the run I’m not doing. Now it fits my plan, still a challenge but my challenge. I’m focusing on that morning feeling. I’m focusing on days, not miles and on trying new things to keep me here. I’m excited about it. I’m pleased that I can be here and learn from there. This is where I’ve been trying to get! At least, that is, until I get to the next place!