I think it’s safe to say that everyone in the www has a crush on today’s guest. I know it’s safe to say that I do. Which is fitting seeing that the first time I crossed her path was in response to a tweet about her foxy new hair cut. I have no recollection of what made me click/see/come across the picture but I did and told her it was beautiful, because it was. And then I started reading and reading and haven’t stopped reading since. Julie C. Gardner is here. Yes, yes she is. Mother, wife, dog-lover, runner, wine drinker, teacher in her previous life, novelist in her current. Friend, role model, giggle invoker. There’s a short list in my head of the friends I’ve never met that I’d like to have happy hour with and she’s on it, right at the top. Her writing at byanyothername is honest, witty, and sincere. Just as I’m certain she is.
Julie, if you had the opportunity to run into your 18-year-old self what would you say to her?
Hey there, Julie Poolie!
If I’ve timed this correctly, today’s your 18th birthday.
I hope you’re enjoying the cake and that guy you’re with because as it turns out, he’s not the one. (Shhhhh.)
And as much as becoming “legal” seems like a tremendous milestone, hold onto your Bartles & Jaymes because I’m writing to you from the future.
Twenty-five years in the future, to be exact.
I know math’s a weak spot for us so this means I’m 43.
Whoa, right?
Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.
Promise.
But you’ll also experience your share of bumps and bruises over the next quarter-century.
And blisters. Oh yes, the blisters.
The good news? You’ll manage to avoid any hospital stays. (Besides the two babies you’re going to birth.)
And after teaching English for sixteen years, you’ll go only halfway insane chasing down that dream of being a writer. (Okay. Maybe 51%. Give or take.)
Still. I’m getting ahead of myself. Again.
Because what I’d planned to do is share twenty-five hints about your life.
One for each birthday we’ve celebrated since October 5th, 1986.
So listen. I’m a lot older than you. And maybe a bit wiser. Which means you should take what I suggest to heart, but also with a crooked grin; because the beauty’s in the journey and I don’t want to give away your joy.
To that end, proceed. And feel free to read what you wish into these clues for the coming years.
I won’t confirm or deny anything. Because as those famous philosophers the Go-Go’s once said, “Our lips are sealed.”
Ready? Set?
Maybe.
1987 – But first you should start using moisturizer and rethink butterfly clips.
1988 — UCLA fight, fight, fight!
1989 – Sure you can be “just friends” with boys. Kind of.
1990 – Just say NO to Citibank. And Dexatrim.
1991 – Pomp and circumstance and student loans.
1992 – Things get crowded back in the nest.
1993 – “O Captain! My Captain!” And “Words, words, words…”
1994 – Some blind dates last forever.
1995 – Wine tasting doesn’t suck.
1996 — Four weddings and a mortgage.
1997 – The epidural is your friend.
1998 — Purple dinosaurs, Blue dogs.
1999 – And baby makes four.
2000 – Re: Y2K — you can safely skip the bomb shelter.
2001 – Old job, old friends, new house, new war.
2002 – The days may drag.
2003 – The years will fly.
2004 – In the blur of it all, remember who you are.
2005 – And what you really want.
2006 – Your babies are watching, learning, deciding.
2007 – So on the precipice of change…leap.
2008 – Because 40 is the new everything.
2009 — Full of midlife marathons and manuscripts…
2010 — And Facebook and Twitter and WordPress, oh my!
2011 — So scoot in close and read my lips: don’t give up.
Did you hear me? DON’T GIVE UP!!!
And I won’t either.
Deal? Deal.
We can shake on it this October 5th, 2012. But don’t hurry. I’ll wait.
With an open heart and a crooked grin.
Forever.
And ever.
The end.
Thank you Julie. I strategically asked you to guest today, knowing I would be able to begin wrapping this series up on a sweet, sweet note. Thank you.
For more of Julie visit her space, her facebook, and her Twitter. She’ll welcome you with open arms, I guarantee it.
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jnwalker1222
54 Responses to if i could turn back time — by any other name
Suniverse
Replied on: August 19, 2012, 8:59 PM
I love your advice. All of it.
Especially about the dexatrim.
Bridget
Replied on: August 8, 2012, 1:27 AM
Have I told you lately that I totally love you? I do. Totally.
Jamie
Replied on: August 14, 2012, 10:07 PM
Is that Janet Jackson or Lionel Richie? I can’t think of the next line… oh wait maybe Van Morison? LOL — I’ll stop now.
Carolina Valdez Miller
Replied on: August 7, 2012, 9:32 PM
I love the idea of sending a timeline series of hints to my younger self. So clever, that Julie. How I wish to clone her and install her in the house next to me to be my best friend to lend me sugar and the occasional word of get-out-of-bed-and-stop-moping-you-silly-girl-and-write-something. I’m pretty sure that’s what she’d say. She’s amazing like that.
Jamie
Replied on: August 14, 2012, 10:06 PM
Seeee, everyone has a crush on her!
Diane
Replied on: August 2, 2012, 12:27 PM
I can proudly proclaim that I was first introduced to you, sort of, as your eighteen-year-old self and that we are such great friends after all these years warms my heart!
julie gardner
Replied on: August 3, 2012, 5:01 PM
Oh, Diane.
If only everyone could have *met* me for the first time when I was acting out Oedipus…
On second thought, maybe not — ha!
Thanks for being my friend on this whole crazy ride…
heidi
Replied on: August 1, 2012, 2:16 PM
I love the timeline. I would have rethought banana clips along with butterfly clips. Remember those? Or were you smart enough to stay away from them? And, oh, Bartles & Jaymes. I have fond memories.
Your open heart is your through line in your life…sorry, I couldn’t help using a ‘writer-ism’. It’s true. You’ve got a good heart — one to listen to and follow. I believe in you and your open heart, Julie.
julie gardner
Replied on: August 3, 2012, 5:02 PM
Thanks, Heidi.
Consider those lovely words directed RIGHT BACK AT YOU.
With my whole heart.
XO
Robin Bielman
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 2:53 AM
Hi Jamie! Hi Julie! As usual, Julie, you rock! Loved reading this post! Loved the picture! Loved the never give up. You will so reach all your goals — I just know it!
julie gardner
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 11:37 AM
Robin,
Thanks so much for ALL of your encouragement.
Because of you, I do believe I will.
Reach my goals that is.
And I am so very glad you have come into my life.
(Next time, my house? With lap tops?)
XO
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:29 PM
Hi Robin!! Thanks for following Julie here! She does rock, head nod agree!
Katie
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 6:18 PM
How is it that Crest hasn’t changed their packaging since 1987? Huh.
This is amazing. You always take the simplest prompts and make them beyond awesome.
Don’t give up.
Ever.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 30, 2012, 3:22 PM
Ha! I almost commented about the CREST myself — leave it to you to have the exact same thought process as I did…
And I’m holding on tightly to the “don’t give up” because right now, it’s hard.
Okay. I guess it’s always hard. Sigh.
XO
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:33 PM
I thought the same thing and have since been trying to think of other packaging unchanged… all I got so far is the Budweiser can?
Lady Jennie
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 11:33 AM
Aw-SOME! You were legal at 18? I had to wait til 21.
So everyone has a crush on you? I thought I was special.
Just teasin — I know I can’t compete.
I think my photo from 1987 might look like that — or maybe it was when I had Sun-In.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 12:55 PM
Jennie my friend,
You have no competition.
You are in a class all by yourself…
And I have missed you so.
Can’t wait to catch up. The house is officially empty (of all but my own dogs and children) and I am catching my breath from the whirlwind of love and family and FOOD preparation.
Who knew 13 people could eat so much?
At EVERY meal?
My refrigerator is empty and my heart is full.
XOXO
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:35 PM
Oh how I loved Sun-In… if only it was that easy these days to brighten my mousy hair!
Janie Fox
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 5:13 AM
I have a crush on Julie too. She is the berries. Moisturizer yes! If only I had known about it and sunscreen. Dern the baby oil/iodine concoction I slathered. Now I have the leopard print hands to show for it.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 12:53 PM
Oh Janie.
We had a pool when I was growing up and I’d slather baby oil on my skin and lemon juice in my hair then lie out on a raft for three hours PER SIDE…
I think by the time I’m 45 I will be a raisin. Officially.
Ah, the consequences of good times and ignorance — ha!
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:36 PM
Is it wrong to blame my mother for not teaching me about sun-screen? She still goes to the tanning bed.
dadblunders
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 2:10 AM
I love the ideas of giving yourself little hints without giving away to much! It was truly and inspirational piece. Since I am 42 years old I am not sure I would want to talk to my 18 year-old self. I was way to stubborn to listen.….yikes!
Aaron
julie gardner
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 12:51 PM
Oh yes, the STUBBORNNESS.
That could go right up there with blisters as one of my biggest challenges — ha!
Cheers to 42, though. It was a great year for me…even as I stare down 44 in a few months…
Sigh.
Just Jennifer
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 9:25 PM
So very much love this one! Cool way to do it, year by year. Gonna go learn more about you now!
julie gardner
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 12:49 PM
Thanks, Jennifer —
All of Jamie’s Friday guests wrote such FABULOUS posts to themselves; I wanted to try something a little different as the last one…
I can’t wait to read hers next week.
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:37 PM
This coming Friday is Babe, then the link-up, THEN moi… and I STILL… after one year of these Friday’s have no idea what I’m going to tell me 18 year old self!
JoAnn
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 5:59 PM
Somedays, I think you’re so cute/brilliant that I almost hate you. I think we can still be friends though. There seems to be just the right enough of humanity in that blonde face of yours. And by humanity, I mean humility. And by humility, I mean our kids both made/make us a little crazy and a a little desperate.
And even if you weren’t so nice, I’d still secretly like you. For your body. oh, and your talent.
xoxoxoxo
julie gardner
Replied on: July 28, 2012, 12:48 PM
Talent’s overrated.
I love to be loved for my body — ha!
(Have been missing you, JoAnn. So excited to see a new post in my INBOX.)
Kari Marie White
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 4:59 PM
Julie,
As ever, lovely words. I love the tips. As someone who’s 335 days away from turning 40, I’m taking your advice from 2007 and on to heart. And, I made a mental note to toss the butterfly clip in the cabinet.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 5:40 PM
Kari Marie,
No joke, my forties have been the BEST. In fact, I think 40 was my favorite year.
(But don’t tell all the other years. They weren’t so bad, either. Shhhh.)
And I know you just had your birthday, but I’m wishing you a happy one 335 days early. Because I’m more forgetful now, anyway.
XO
Nina
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 4:22 PM
LOVE It, Julie! This is my favorite line: “I won’t confirm or deny anything. Because as those famous philosophers the Go-Go’s once said, “Our lips are sealed.”
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 5:39 PM
Oh Nina,
It takes a wise woman to recognize greatness in 80’s pop lyrics.
You are a wise woman, indeed.
Abby
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:51 PM
Those are called butterfly clips? I’ve always known them as JAP clips (Jewish American Princess)–NO JOKE!!
I LOVE your advice/hint from 2007. Ain’t it the truth?
You are brilliant!
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 3:59 PM
Thanks, Abby.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one willing to take the leap…
(And who actually looks for a precipice from which to do it!)
John
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:53 AM
Isn’t Julie just the absolute coup of guest posters
I often wonder what I’d write to a me from the past … because, well, I’m pretty happy with where I am right now, but I sure did spend a lot of time worrying about stuff that was, absolutely, meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:08 PM
John,
I simply adore you. (But you knew that already, right?)
And my barometer these days for worries is this:
Will it matter when I’m 80?
(Of course 80 is getting closer each year.)
Which is why I keep running. In the opposite direction.
XO
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:39 PM
If it matters when we’re 80 we can pretend we forget or don’t hear or don’t remember or something… right?
And yes, John, the coup of guest posters. Coup!
Cameron
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:45 AM
I’m totally stealing some of your advice for myself, okay?
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:09 PM
Yes yes yes.
Steal.
And don’t give up.
Ever.
Sherri
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:29 AM
Oh, I love me some Julie…and to see her as an 18-year-old? Awesome!
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:10 PM
Sherri,
I know you can relate to the butterfly clip (and perhaps the wine coolers?)
Cheers to looking back with a smile but moving forward knowing that it’s still just getting better…
Nanny K
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:23 AM
Ha! Just realized your quote was actually “the epidural is your friend”. Leave it to me to bastardized your words
. Yes…the epidural was my friend…a friend that didn’t suck!!
Nanny K
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:19 AM
Hey there Julie-Poolie! Love this post.…and all 43 years of you!! “epidurals don’t suck!!”…agreed
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:11 PM
To the one who actually witnessed me being called Julie Poolie -
Thanks for being along for MOST of the ride.
(And for giving me that heads up on the epidural.)
Love you forever.
Galit Breen
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:16 AM
Lovely, Julie.
Love the hints and the tips and the clues. But mostly, I love the way that you let the puzzle fall as it may.
{Never give up, indeed!}
Runnermom-jen
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 10:13 AM
I LOVE how you did this, with the 25 tidbits…it was poetic. And, I hope you’re right about the being 40 part…I’m almost there and that is scary for me
Beautiful post Julie.
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:13 PM
Jen,
With NO exaggeration, my forties has been the best decade of my life.
Truly.
There is a comfort level (physically, emotionally, every-ally) that comes only with time.
But I do miss that hair from when I was 18. I’ll admit it
tracy@sellabitmum
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 9:51 AM
I think I just passed out in my Fiber Trim when you said the words “quarter century”
Love this my friend. xo
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:14 PM
Oh Tracy.
How I love you.
I’d share my four-pack of Bartles and Jaymes with you any day.
(Like, tomorrow???!!!)
Alison
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 9:40 AM
Look at you, all pretty! (girl crush)
I love the 25 tidbits. Isn’t life a wonderful thing, panning out as it does?
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 12:19 PM
Alison,
Once I realized it had been 25 years, I had to go with the tidbits.
And when I found that picture (of me looking at myself? HUH?) it all just fell into place.
(Except for the part where I miss that tank top I’m wearing. It was my favorite shirt for a long time.)
I wonder what clothes I’ll miss in another 25 years.
When I’m.…ummm.…68?
On second thought, let’s not wonder about that…ha!
XO
julie gardner
Replied on: July 27, 2012, 9:18 AM
Jamie, the crush is mutual.
On you, I mean.
I know someday we’ll be sharing the same space in real life -
But until then…
Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to talk to that crazy girl in the butterfly clip.
And for being my friend.
Always.
Jamie
Replied on: July 31, 2012, 9:42 PM
Inquiring minds are dying to know… the bottom half of the outfit? Pleated jean shorts? White-washed jeans tight rolled? Or maybe the timeless khaki skirt with too many pockets?
Always.
julie gardner
Replied on: August 1, 2012, 2:01 AM
I’m going to go with jeans shorts…
Cut off Levis maybe?
Old school. Oh yeah.