Do you find that the actual deciding is the hardest part? And that once you decide, make a final decision, the weight on your shoulders disappears?
I mentioned a week or so ago that my current training schedule had been having some hiccups… hip hiccups to be exact. I was following doctor orders and started to gain back the lost confidence. Then I heard the pop on an early 2 mile-run. I heard it, felt it, screamed an explicative at it in the middle of the street and run-limped my beaten up self the rest of the way to the Y.
I was supposed to be doing 10 the next day. The final ‘test’ to see if the race was even an option. I iced, took the ibuprofin, and obsessed over the should I or shouldn’t I ALL. FiRIGGIN. DAY.
If I didn’t do the race I was quitting. I’m not good at quitting. I’m quite stubborn — please don’t tell Babe. I knew I could do it but I didn’t know if I could do it and be satisfied with the results. And if I wasn’t going to be satisfied with the results then I’d just be hard on myself about that. But then if I could do it was I really trying hard enough or was I selling myself and my abilities short? If I did do it would I hurt myself more? The injury I have isn’t one that can be ‘fixed’ so to speak, it just takes rest and strengthening the weakness. Next on the list: 60-miles in 3 days. The 16-week training for that started yesterday. Should I just move on and set my sights there? There’s always next year, right? Babe is going to be out of town, I’m short on favors for watching all the kiddies. And for some reason no one is jumping up and down about coming to my house at 4 am that Sunday. Back and forth. Back and forth. Just decide already and be done with it!!!! Ugh, I can be so annoying.
I’m not going to do it.
There it is. The decision. Weight is lifted. Now you know, all of you. Now at least you know I thought about it, I didn’t just not show up.
And I still did all of this…
I did all THIS in the cold months, with four kids, AND a hip injury. I think that certainly earns me the t-shirt. And a massage.
Clean slate, new training schedule — so much potential for the blue hi-lighter!
Imma movin’ on!